To All Humans Who Visit Our Home, Please Note the Following Commandments :

1. The dogs live here, you don't

2. If you don't want hair on your clothes, simply stay off the furniture

3. Yes, dogs have some disgusting ways. So do you and so do I. What's your point?

4. OF COURSE they smell like dogs.

5. It's their nature to sniff your crotch. Please feel free to sniff back

6. Yes, I do like them better than I like most people

7. To you they are dogs. To me, they are children who are hairy, walk on all fours, don't always speak my language and tolerate eating on the floor. I have no problem with any of these things

8. Dogs are better than kids; they eat less, don't ask for money, are easier to train, come when called (most of the time), never
drive your car, don't talk back, don't use drugs, smoke or drink, don't care about the latest fashions or wear your clothes, and they don't need money for college - just, in some cases, obedience school.

9. If their barking annoys you, go home. They are dogs - dogs bark

10. Some dogs don't like to be touched by strangers. If you try it and they growl, consider yourself fairly warned. If you insist on trying it again and they bite, whose fault is that?

11. Finally, don't call them "dumb dogs". They are far more intelligent, fair-minded, tolerant, loving, forgiving and loyal than
most of the humans I have known.